Day 2

Well it's strange how I woke up today knowing that things aren't the same. They aren't. I've been ushered back into the realms of singlehood, which though ain't bad was alot quicker than I expected it to be.

don't hurt as much, ok not as much as I did last night anyway, though it still does but everyone's support helped. Thank you. It's amazing how things can change in a span of minutes, hours or days and honestly, for the past 6 months though it didn't seem that I was really, really in a relationship...I really honestly did like him, maybe even loved him to the extent that I was very willing to do anything for him. Yup.

But it really did end just like that. Doing my favourite thing, eating ice-cream in cold. I think the breakup didn't hurt as much as knowing that all the time he was me, he was thinking about someone else. That hurt the most. It's hard to believe now in retrospect, even though he said otherwise, that he really mean all the "i love you"s. Perhaps it's karma, because that's what i did to ray and now i'm paying for it. To have liked someone else whilst you were together with another.

Honestly, if this was growing up and learning to be strong...it has been too much in a year for me. If not for those around me, I think I would have checked into a mental institution myself..depression and a mental breakdown.

I will be strong. Because there's a need for me to be. I'm sad but I know it's not the end of the world. I won't die without a boyfriend, not having someone to miss or care extra for. Ironically, this passing perhaps is a load off mind, for me to focus on other pertinent matters such as scoring exceptional grades to get my ass into Exonmobile.

I'll move on.
and you know what..i think i just discovered heaven today.

it's time to party.