Time.

I've been given the chance to have more time, to have more time than I can possibly imagine - it's one of times when you've got so much free time that you wish you didn't have that much of it. That if it came in bite sized pieces, you'll probably enjoy it more kinda free time.

I've had alot of time to think, alot of time to run, to sleep and just do things that well doesn't require me spending time with anyone besides myself. And sometimes I wonder, whether choosing to do what I did was a wise decision - i couldn't have done an additional subject or just gone out and done something, or well at least not leave myself with nothing but Prof Prac left for the remanding of the semester even if it was 12 credit points worth.

I don't know - with so much time left to think, so far from everyone else that I love back home (and no couz, i do look forward to you coming home from school everyday!), I've come to the conclusion that I'm kinda stuck. Stuck in this place once again, not moving forward at all. Feels like I've got no purpose at all and I don't like to feel this way.

Of course, I'm thankful for every day, thankful for the time I've been given to reflect, to think, to go for runs, to just lay in bed and space out, to speak to him whenever I want...but I haven't been one to like this life where I don't do anything, I only keep looking forward to the future, I make plans for it - I count the days left to Melbourne - every single day I count - count the days left towards leaving Melbourne, towards getting some answer from Leos, - because I can't make plans without anything being certain.


It's strange this place I'm in.