** DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ME RANT **

There I warned you. I'm going to rant..even though it's been such a beautiful day (i cannot stress how beautiful it's been) and tommorrow, yes..finally!! tommorrow's the first day of spring. It's here. so anyway

I'M FAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes. I am. Cheek bones disappearing, stomach protuding, thighs touching, saggy underarms kinda fat. yes. I am going to turn the obese at the rate I'm going. I'm eating so much it's scary, it's as if I'm eating for two. Don't believe me..this is what I ate today:

1. small coffee (slightly smaller than tall at Starbucks)
2. Orange
3. Yogurt
4. Bread roll
5. 2 carrots
6. 1 cucumber
7. 30 grapes
8. 1 weight watchers apricot bar
9. 1 teeny packet of baby (wang zai xiao man tou)
10. 3 squares of chocolate
11. 2 biscuits
12. 1 lavash di-lee cheese
13. sesame thingys
14. 5 sweet and sour hearts
15. 1 can of vegetable and barley soup with lettuce and egg

That is alot of food. Alot for one day..I think it's probably twice the amount that I usually eat and it really sucks. I'm supposed to eat less..not that much. And it's killing me. Really it is. The intake is greater than output ( I being sick and thus, unable to go to the gym for the last few days) sucks. I really hate myself sometimes.

Ok. I know I have body image and weight issues but seriously, I think I ought to be skinnier with the amount of exercise I'm doing. How much I eat in a day is more the daily recommended intake of 1,800 calories. I'm overweight. I tell you I am. hai. how??