bye.bye.
so once again, there's no one else in this 2 bedroom apartment of mine. It's so quiet except for Jars of Clay playing in the background, no incessant chatter, no cluttered up floor with an extra suitcase because of an additional person living in it. It's so quiet. and the loneliness is once again scary, it's so frightening. It's so hard that she's gone away now, gone home and i'm 8 hours away from the rest of home, with 31 days more to go. It's been such a horrible year, and I've just only started to have friends here, but it's still lonely. There's no one to have dinner, or go shopping with me. There's no one hear me grumble or I can be cranky to, there's no one to have chocolate with me or sit down and watch the telly with me.
the loneliness is very very scary. the quietness disquieting. this sense of not having any direction at all, none at all is very very troubling.
i really want to go home. No wait. I need to go home because I can feel myself cracking and breaking up one bit by one bit.
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