May - it was one truly one of the longest months in my life.

Yup.... i couldn't decide why. Couldn't decide whether it was because it was the end of the second last page of the Leos' diary (which really just signifies that we're close to being done. there. done.) or because it had 31 days, or because I had a horrible ancillary partner or simply because it was just so damn long away from August - when i could go home. I suspect, it was all of the reasons above.

This year hasn't been as great a year as I had hoped it would be. I was a little reluctant to leave Singapore at the start because well, I truly had my reservations. By then Leos started, and I started making friends, and I thought, finally perhaps it'll be ok after all. 6 months would go by in a jiffy and I'll soon be home safe and snuggly, as if I've never left before - which was mostly how I've felt about home for the past couple of years. On hindsight, maybe it's because my friends have made it so. We always picked up where we left off, never tripping or stumbling. It's like it is still there after all these years.

But then of course, shit had to start hitting the fan and by now, being mostly 24 year olds... we know that (could be a generalisation and i apologise profusely for this!) when shit starts hitting the fan, it really really starts raining the watery stuff. Yup. So I won't say it hasn't passed, because well, this journey hasn't ended... I'm still not safe and snuggly at home. But, i suppose, i believe (with a tinge of hope and expectation, and no no no, none of those jinx-y nonsense) that things are getting better bit by bit...

These few months have only made things alot clearer for me. My dreams, my goals, my ambitions and the direction that I want to take in life. I'm really quite happy to go home. My friends here and at home would say, it's probably because HE'S going to be home and I can serve my insect-repellant purpose. But more than ever, (even though I'll admit that HE'S one of the reasons), I'm certain that being home is truly the place that I'm meant to be.

These few months also reminded me (which I somehow seem to have forgotten, in the humdrum of everyday life) that really, some things in life is worth fighting for, and your own happiness, is one of those things.

We all deserve to be happy, but not just any kind of happy. BUt the kind of contented happy. The ONE kind of happy that is independent of all external factors/stimuli.. it doesn't depend on the existence or emotions of someone else... and it should come from within. And the only reason is that we all deserve to be.

So there.

Be happy.