my life as a soap opera.

Look at me. or rather, look at me in my picture. I'm pretty much a very average girl. Average looks, average way of thinking (although I tend to surprise myself sometimes), average life and from the wider perspective, I'm pretty much just a speck in the midst of many many many people. Sometimes I try too hard because I want to get noticed, other times I try even harder because I don't want to fail, most times I try the hardest because i personally NEED to know that I can do and accomplish things that average people are often are considered not able to.

Unlike most average people though, I get angry very easily particularly when people aren't doing their jobs and being especially incompetent. I get upset easily too. I become wacky after a 5km run and chocolate milk. I tend to be fascinated with people easily, most times it's because it's hard for me to swallow the mystery pill.

But you know, my boring life might make a soap opera because I'm always in positions where I'm conflicted. You know those soap operas where the viewers go, "There she goes again, she should have known."

(if only there were rules and regulations about how to live life and deal with conflicts)

.

No, I'm not talking about the "not-happy-go-outside-and-settle" kind of conflicts, i'm talking about internal conflicts. Conflicts that often consume my thoughts. At times, it might even bring out the worse in me. I think about it so much that often I might dream about it (my dreams reflect my thoughts in the day and it's been happening all too frequently lately). Conflicts that make me talk to myself to drive out those inner demons

(imagine your devil and your angel sitting on your shoulder whispering).

Conflicts that make me distance myself away from people because if I'm around them too much - too many things show. And it's always at these times that I wished that I was so much better - like those perfect people you truly loathe but hold in awe at the same time.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
- Fix You, Coldplay.