Street Lawyer and Mahogany tables.

For life. for love. for unfulfilled dreams. for chasing dreams. for being told that my world is an oyster. for delays. for sucky walls with blue rocks that are so hard to climb. for forgotting how to climb a silly wall with blue rocks. for playing my own game. for the another mind game I have voluntarily gotten myself involved in. for my half marathon on sunday morning. for the things i do to make myself feel that I'm worth it.

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today
- Somewhere I belong, Linkin Park

Let's hope I get out of this rut soon and find some place, some one to call my own.

Sleep is what i need.

we forget.

We forget about the wars. We forget about the pain and the suffering. We forget about those who died. We forget to give thanks for peace. We forget that everyday is a gift. We tell ourselves that we have to remember, but we always forget. We never learn. We never learn that peace is so much more precious than war. We keep engaging into wars. We want to win. We always more to be powerful. We want to overthrow this and overthrow that. We forget about the sanctity of human life. Why is it that we never learn. Why is it we choose to ignore history and not allow the truth to surface. Why is it we hide from our past mistakes so as to save our face?

When war comes, no one wins.

I am pretty certain today, that History is my passion and I want to be able to go back to school to do it. Just so that I won't forget. I won't forget the lives lost, I won't forget the atrocities committed, the pain, the suffering. I want to learn. To learn about their stories, their plights, the reasons for the wars.

This thing we have created for ourselves, we will never win. we always lose.

"Those who have seen war will never forget, those who have heard war will always hear the screams in the night"
Galloway

Freedom never cries
Five for fighting
took a flag to a pawn shop
For a broken guitar
I took a flag to a pawn shop
How much is that guitar?
I took a flag to a pawn shop
I got me that guitar
What's a flag in a pawn shop to me?


Saw a man on the TV
In a mask with a gun
A man on the TV
He had a ten year old son
I saw a man on the TV
His son had a gun
And it says that he's coming for me


Chorus
I never loved the soldier
Until the wars awoke
I thought about tomorrow
'til my baby hit the floor
I only talk to God
When somebody's about to die
I never cherished freedom


Freedom never cries


I wrote a song for a dead man
To settle my soul
A song for a dead man
And now I'll never grow old
I wrote a song for a dead man
Now I'm hollowed in the cold
What's a song to a dead man to me?


Chorus
I never loved the soldier
Until the wars awoke
I thought about tomorrow
'til my baby hit the floor
I only talk to God
When somebody's about to die
I never cherished freedom
Freedom never cries


You can cry for her
Die for her
Lay down your life for her
Kiss and wave goodbye to her
Anything at all
You can cry for her
Die for her
Make up your mind to her
Anything at all


There's a baby on the doorstep
Wailing away
There's a baby on the doorstep
Longing for the day
There's a baby on the doorstep
Who'd give his life to take
A flag to a pawn shop
A flag to a pawn shop
May he forget why he is crying
Someday

Pass me by.

Hardly did anything today.oh wait. I didn't do anything at all today. I slept. dreamt. ate. And the day just passed me by. It really did. I hardly have any idea what happened to it. I dreamt a really nice dream though, and i wished, i really did, from the depths of my heart that my life was like that in real life. That said however, I was content to know that that dream might become a reality - and though hope makes you fall harder when things don't turn out the way you want them too, it's good to know that there is at least a chance for that dream to become reality. I was happy in that dream.

It was good though, to go out for a walk, to smell the night air, to realise that half of the people around me had been rushing the day through, those alone, those holding hands and walking down the street with someone they loved, those with friends. The world indeed doesn't wait whilst you do your own thing. The air had a certain prettiness to it today. It was just peace. A sense of comfort and even if there was sadness, because there was no one to share it with...having to experience it alone was good enough. At least for that moment, at least for today.

In the autumn on the ground,
between traffic and the ordinary sounds
I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through
I watch as lovers pass me by
Walking stories - whos and hows and whys
Musing lazily on love
Pondering you
I'll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell
{so} when it's time to walk that way,
We wanna walk it well
- Love is waiting, Brooke Fraser

For this, i can only wait. wait and see. just wait. i have to have this drummed into my head constantly.