barely made it.

they look pretty and they taste as good.


hiding from the rain.

So we found a new place today. A place to hide from the rain that was pelting down on everyone in the afternoon. It was just raining and raining and raining. And it was cold. and though my mind was utterly content being surrounded by friends who were "like that" with me. ha. Can't help that your thoughts drift elsewhere at the same time. But those thoughts were quickly discarded in light of my bigger goal. 80% and nothing less. Because I eventually want to go home. Seeing Mr. Taylor in the library today put everything into perspective even more. I want to brillant and good at what i do. Even more though, I want to be able to absolutely love what i do. So there. Now, I'm sitting here at 2332 hours, one day of studying, two cups of coffee, drenched and wasn't blessed with the satisfaction of a utterly cold shower. I'm exhausted. It's these times though, when you're done for the day, ya about to hop into bed and sleep all ya troubles away that the thoughts of the day comes flooding back and sometimes, just sometimes, it overwhelms you.

Keep Holding On"

Avril Lavigne

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

For sherlynn. For Rose. For Rach. For Jams. For me. For mon. For him. For everyone else that I miss.

that's all.

Just a photo (above) of what i need to achieve consecutively for the next four semesters to at least attain my dream and the song of the day below...It is a very pretty song:)

The City Lights
Umbrellas

If you see me at midnight
Walking the streets
You'll know it was me for I cannot sleep
I've pushed away the dreams
And spoiled the quiet
I'm propelled by fear
And not the righteous

So have you been to a place like this?
To see your breath as it paints against the sky
The fever is near
I wish you were here

I'm thinking ambitious
I've got this feeling things will be alright
So go break a leg night
Been given the green light
So go entertain them
They're waiting for you
They're waiting for you

So have you been to a place like this?
To see your breath as it paints against the sky
Feeling so right and things will run
The fever is near
I wish you were here

Today was Koko Black day. An alone day. A talk to jiemei day (whom i so dearly miss and wished that we can spend alot of time making cocktails together at home!). A return the book to the Melbourne Law Library day. A "i feel kinda pretty" day with my new green scarf. An eat too much day (i surely did.). A gym day (ooh i enjoyed myself terribly today!). A day of awakening and realisation. A day which i wished didn't go by so quickly. It was a rather perfect one.:)

rain rain go away.

Ok no. It shouldn't. It shouldn't go away. Melbourne needs rain. WE NEED RAIN. shitloads of it. yup. But then, I don't really like very strong winds, followed by very, very heavy rain. It is unsettling after a rather sleepless night, where i dreamt of death and failure and all other things that I thought I've hidden rather well within the depths of my soul. Conceal and ignore things enough sometimes, and then, they become invisible. It was a scary night, a windy one as well. It would have been a rather interesting one for a sleep researcher though, because if not for those hormones that paralyse me when i sleep, i wonder where i would have ended up. Scary huh.

However, it's been a rather nice day. Facial. Massage. Got my hair cut. No longer a bushy mess that I have atop of my head, although looking into the mirror at the salon today, I decided I really OUGHT to consider getting some treatment done on my hair. It's in a rather horrendous condition. meh. Wind+Rain+Sun = very damaged hair.poo.
Facial. Dermatologist said that skin is getting better. small "hooray" because I don't want to jinx it. Skin is still highly prone to tantrums according to my language and flareups, according to her. ha.
Massage. Therapist says that shoulders are overstressed and knees are hurting so much because I have weak lower back muscles (meh. Explains my bulging tummy too) and too tight IBD muscles. So stretch, stretch, stretch she says. The price of law is even greater than the amount of money you spend on school and books apparently, one must remember to consider the toll it takes on your body. beh.

so yes. Tomorrow is going to be another rainy, wet, wet day. But the song for the day:
Baby, Don't You Break My Heart Slow
VONDA SHEPARD

I like the way you wanted me
Every night for so long baby
I like the way you needed me
Every time things got rocky

I was believing in you
Am I mistaken do you say,
Do you say what you mean
I want our love to last forever

But I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

I like the way you'd hold me
Every night for so long baby
And I like the way you'd say my name
In the middle of the night
While you were sleeping

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken
Do you mean, mean what you say
When you say our love could last forever

Well I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

(Bridge)
You would run around and lead me on forever
While I wait at home thinking that we're together
I wanted our love to last forever

Well I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow

The rain makes me even whinger than I normally am. And seriously. I'm normally very whingy.

What?!!

An article about Singapore appeared in Time this week. It was about transformation, the billions and billions of dollars that the government was spending on reformation, on transformation to attract expats, to attract tourists and basically, to turn SIngapore into other "hubs" which is not already yet. Hmms. the plan is that Sentosa would have a casino, and perhaps even a universal studios themepark. I'm just thinking whether I really want Sentosa to become another tourist attraction - overrun by those (who really are the wrong crowd and who usually are those who appear in Sentosa, gawking at girls anyway.). Don't take away my haven away please. I really refuse to have to travel all the way to Bali to get some decent sun and quietness. As it is, Sentosa is getting crowded with old men from China, walking right into the ladies changing room (with me standing right there in a dress) and peeing into one of the showers (who was insanely gross). Stupid old man.

At this rate, (even though change is good), I won't recognise what Singapore is going to be in another few years. Boo. poo. I mean of course, I understand the need for change, I understand the need for us to make a mark and prove ourselves (especially with pirates 3 implying that singapore's another pirate-filled country), I understand the urgency of reversing the trend of a aging population - but I don't want MY Singapore to change. I don't want my kopi-tiam uncle to go away, I don't want the already crowded places to become even more crowded (e.g. ORCHARD!!!). It's busy as it is. boo.

Anyhow, that said, I really did buy this issue of TIME because it had an article on Singapore. (Singapore whore!!ha.) I'm stil patriotic even though i'm 8 hours away. Nothing there I would take for granted. Even in light of the pace of life, the demands of success, and bad drivers (stupid, irritating motorcyclists and cab drivers), the lack of much of arts scene - I'm still very much in love with home. And yes, I still do get teary-eyed when the plane flies in from Melbourne and I see the skyline, all lited up and welcoming me home. Yes, I did consider the huge oomph of hot air that heats me when i step out of the airport as well. I still love the place MANY MANY. It's home. hey. it is.

That said, today would be 3 days (yes. I'm that sad that I actually count can!). Abstinence. I can't really comprehend whether this is a good thing or not. Maybe my brain REFUSES to comprehend because alot of the neurons are being used up studying. There's just so much work to do.
The stars say for june:

You may feel like speeding up a certain process (?!!) but it's best to bide time (meh!). Distract yourself with something glam and classically Saggo, such as sports, horseriding or travel (wahlau.travel.nada.not for another month at least.Sports?apparently I'm doing too much.Horseriding? Where got horse?!does French = glam?).

His stars say: Is a relationship ready to move to the next level? Or is it evolving out of your life? (gone case!) Divine the scenario by the auspicious new moon on June 15. Clarify intent, be savvy with practical issues and don't rush new love. (=faint!)

SO there. so much contradiction. And seriously, I don't believe in these things - it's just funny how they MIGHT possibly apply to my predicaments at the moment. Don't rush. Yah seriously I know don't rush. What i must rush is my notes and my relationship with mr. taylor. poo. I only believe in Karma. Maybe it is Karma at work. yawn. pleh.

That said though - I've done with 2 of Mr. Taylor's lectures - just about two milion more to go. :|

I though will leave you with what it's been on my playlist at the moment...
"在我离你远去的那一天.... 在等待两人回来的那一刻."
-tank.

p.s. I can't stop thinking about a new bag. and eh. arhhm

goodbye is not forever.

Suddenly I see
KT Tunstall
Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

I feel like walking the world
Like walking the world
You can hear she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember
What you heard
She likes to leave you hanging on her word

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)

This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

And she's taller than most
And she's looking at me
I can see her eyes looking from a page in a magazine
Oh she makes me feel like I could be a tower
A big strong tower
She got the power to be
The power to give
The power to see

Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me

Rose and I were singing this song on the way back from sherlynn home. Thought I'll put it down, so that i won't ever forget. Sher's going home, and though I know that I'll see her soon - can't help feeling rattled by it. It'll be different without her around, need someone to laugh at (Rose, we do laugh at sher alot huh?!ha) and laugh with too. So babe, be strong, do call or email if anything (FACEBOOK!!!!)..we'll be here if you need us..and you're like the girl with the silver pool of light which we all benefit from:) So yes, one of MY people's not going to be here, but the other two though, which I'm so absolutely thankful for, is still going to be around. To fight this big battle called EXAMS.
wa lau. I still need to get through Mr. Taylor. Yawn.

Mighty comfort.

"C.S. Lewis Song"
Brooke Fraser
If i find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the felsh that i fight is at best only light and momentary,
then ofcourse I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared


[CHORUS]
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me


Am i lost or just found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?
Cos my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
An avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become


[CHORUS]


[BRIDGE]
For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming

I've been finding great comfort in that song. Amazing comfort in the song. I've been spending a rather copious amount of time waiting. And praying and hoping. Twiddling my thumbs, tearing out my hair and a whole of other things. Over things that I have no control over and wished that I still do. I haven't learnt yet to let go. But I suppose it's ok to hope.

to the stars.

this month, the stars say:

"..domestic duties and family affairs are bound to occupy an increasing chunk of your time and you'll be desiring a little more security, although exactlu what this consists of, and how it is to be established, is uncertain... is there something you're longing to say to someone? Find the right words and you could get exactly the response you're looking for."

hmmms.

we forget.

We forget about the wars. We forget about the pain and the suffering. We forget about those who died. We forget to give thanks for peace. We forget that everyday is a gift. We tell ourselves that we have to remember, but we always forget. We never learn. We never learn that peace is so much more precious than war. We keep engaging into wars. We want to win. We always more to be powerful. We want to overthrow this and overthrow that. We forget about the sanctity of human life. Why is it that we never learn. Why is it we choose to ignore history and not allow the truth to surface. Why is it we hide from our past mistakes so as to save our face?

When war comes, no one wins.

I am pretty certain today, that History is my passion and I want to be able to go back to school to do it. Just so that I won't forget. I won't forget the lives lost, I won't forget the atrocities committed, the pain, the suffering. I want to learn. To learn about their stories, their plights, the reasons for the wars.

This thing we have created for ourselves, we will never win. we always lose.

"Those who have seen war will never forget, those who have heard war will always hear the screams in the night"
Galloway

Freedom never cries
Five for fighting
took a flag to a pawn shop
For a broken guitar
I took a flag to a pawn shop
How much is that guitar?
I took a flag to a pawn shop
I got me that guitar
What's a flag in a pawn shop to me?


Saw a man on the TV
In a mask with a gun
A man on the TV
He had a ten year old son
I saw a man on the TV
His son had a gun
And it says that he's coming for me


Chorus
I never loved the soldier
Until the wars awoke
I thought about tomorrow
'til my baby hit the floor
I only talk to God
When somebody's about to die
I never cherished freedom


Freedom never cries


I wrote a song for a dead man
To settle my soul
A song for a dead man
And now I'll never grow old
I wrote a song for a dead man
Now I'm hollowed in the cold
What's a song to a dead man to me?


Chorus
I never loved the soldier
Until the wars awoke
I thought about tomorrow
'til my baby hit the floor
I only talk to God
When somebody's about to die
I never cherished freedom
Freedom never cries


You can cry for her
Die for her
Lay down your life for her
Kiss and wave goodbye to her
Anything at all
You can cry for her
Die for her
Make up your mind to her
Anything at all


There's a baby on the doorstep
Wailing away
There's a baby on the doorstep
Longing for the day
There's a baby on the doorstep
Who'd give his life to take
A flag to a pawn shop
A flag to a pawn shop
May he forget why he is crying
Someday

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Running's like a drug.


Running makes me numb.
Running makes me happy.
Running takes away pain.
Running makes me forget.
Running keeps me sane.
Running gives me pain.
Running makes me healthy.
Running makes me work hard.
Running clears my head.
Running helps me remember that it's the BIG things that matter.
Running never fails me.
Running can help me run faraway.


and so i will continue running.
Happy or sad, depressed or angry. run i will.

Glorious-ness.

A very glorious sunshine broke through the clouds today, very different from what it was like yesterday (dark, gloomy, rainy and hail-ey). It always really pretty because the sun shine always falls perfectly along the yarra river, particularly when the train travels from Southern Cross to Flinders Street at that time in the morning. It is as if, just for that brief moment, all the problems and all the worries that are in existence just melts away. Really, it's the simplicity of it all that drives all the confusion in my life out of the window. Far far away.

Then of course, a perfect picture gets even better in moments where there's a perfect song to go along with it. A perfect song that encompasses all your feelings, your circumstances, what and where your life is, and perhaps even, the very reason for your existence. I mean although, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's a total indication of your current state of mind, the very fact that you can relate to it, is what makes it the perfect song:)

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above


Chorus:
I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be your love suicide
and I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life


Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above


Repeat Chorus


I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, Remembered the things that you said
-I'll be, edwin mcCain

and if last night was an indication of anything at all, MY people are once again very correct. ( i never did doubt them ever though.) I think hopes are such terrible things sometimes.

Rawr. I need to get to Mr. Taylor. meh.

Only can there be a response in the lyrics of a song.

So. Because it hardly matters what I post here - as it is my BLOG and HE doesn't read this.

In subtle response to "don't think so much, just study la." which is really what I've been doing. I just start getting contemplative and sleepy on really cold, hail-ey days like yesterday and today...

I should try to run but I just can't seem to
'Cause every time I run your the one I run to
Can't do without what you do to me,
I don't care if I'm in to deep yeah
- The right kind of wrong, leann rimes

Ok that said, EVERYONE don't worry. I'm not even going to take a positive step, i'm going to omit from doing anything. At least till everything settles down (and yes, the upcoming 4 exams do constitute an EVERYTHING)

ooh and it hailed today. Little chunks of ice fell from the sky. It's going to be a COLD cold week.

p.s. Everyone ought to read the Le Petit Prince.
p.p.s I really want that million dollars. I need a new bag and a new pair of jeans. hee hee.

Hello. Are you there? Oui. Hello. are you sure?

I bought flowers for myself today. Very very pretty roses (yah those roses!) that are now sitting in a pasta-sauce jar on my table, where I can admire it whilst I type this entry. I made an effort everyday for the whole week this week. To be early for work, to be on time, to NOT be angry, to be thankful. To I don't know, just well be content. (ok ok ok except for the prada bag and my bling ring rings, which I still really want. Along with heaps of other exquisite and pretty things.ha.) Everything's really pretty at the moment (except me. Who is feeling FAT and not so pretty!) but yes. I made pretty good pasta sauce which I'm going to turn into lasagne tomorrow, there are freshly baked chocolate muffins on my countertop which I'm going to cover with melted lindt dark chocolate and tens-of-thousands (ROSE, SHER, RACH. MONDAY!i never forget you guys la.).

Then I'm reading a really amazing book entitled "Emails from the Edge" which is a travel biography written by an Australian author about his journey through Central Asia about 5 years ago. Places like Mohenjodaro, which was the crade of the Indus civilisation many many many years ago (i want to go), Ubekiztan, Kargyastan (i spelt this wrong definitely and i apologise), Lahore in Pakistan, and even a place which i can't remember the name of, which the author says that seems to be stuck in time. The time of bazaars, and fresh sweet bread smells wafting through the air, awaking the senses - like those in the Arabian nights. I mean these are places that I hardly can dream of visiting. It's so pretty and picturesque.

This week, I've also caught up with all the equity lectures and I've got just a whole load of constit ones left - which i'm trying to make myself listen to. I've submitted all the internship applications that I can to the different Hongkong law firms that are accepting interns. I've handed in my proficiency assessment for a French diploma at Alliance Francaise today. I've applied to any and everyone who would want a legal secretary - i just need the experience. Then I've booked the flights to sydney and entered the Blackmores half marathon with Shan. Feels like i've accomplished heaps. Then now. just wait.

I just haven't done ONE thing though and that thing, i cannot do. It's within my power to do something about it. but being traditional me. I cannot la.

wistful.

If I earned a 6 figure sum every month:

Then I would:
- Put 1/10 of it in the Bank
- Give my parents 100,000 each every month
- Pay for the two lovelies uni education
- Give my grandmama 10K spending money
- Put the downpayment for a house
- Buy an audi and perhaps, consider a maserati
- Take my bestest girlfriends out shopping
- And go out and buy this and that thing below tomorrow.

The Prada bag is to die for. OMG.

Rings. Big diamond-y. White gold bling blings.

I'm in a rather sorta mood at the moment. I have no idea what you call it. I just want want want. sigh.

Look what came to melbourne central!

The Face Shop!!!

and it brought with it........



the best secret and nicest smelling nose pore pack ever:)

Wa ha. Ok I was photowhoring. But that's what i really like about my mac book. The iphoto thing. Saves me having to take out my camera and then transferring it here and there. If only, Mac had an icamera that i could take and store photos, afterwhich i just load it via firewire onto my mac book. Don't need to store here and store there. Whee. I'll be happy camper. ha.

not feeling like crap at the gym today was really good. No cold sweat or anything like that. I perspired hot sweat which was really great. So for all those whom I have made worry, please don't. I just sometimes have times. and in those times, I feel that i need my people and sometimes thinking about how most of my people are really faraway, it makes me sad. yah. that's about it. That said though, I hope tommorrow doesn't come and whack my happiness back into my face. This hopefulness thing usually doesn't last long in my life.

good love. yes the good kind. the kind that lasts a long time. have to wait. suck thumb in a corner and wait.

Pass me by.

Hardly did anything today.oh wait. I didn't do anything at all today. I slept. dreamt. ate. And the day just passed me by. It really did. I hardly have any idea what happened to it. I dreamt a really nice dream though, and i wished, i really did, from the depths of my heart that my life was like that in real life. That said however, I was content to know that that dream might become a reality - and though hope makes you fall harder when things don't turn out the way you want them too, it's good to know that there is at least a chance for that dream to become reality. I was happy in that dream.

It was good though, to go out for a walk, to smell the night air, to realise that half of the people around me had been rushing the day through, those alone, those holding hands and walking down the street with someone they loved, those with friends. The world indeed doesn't wait whilst you do your own thing. The air had a certain prettiness to it today. It was just peace. A sense of comfort and even if there was sadness, because there was no one to share it with...having to experience it alone was good enough. At least for that moment, at least for today.

In the autumn on the ground,
between traffic and the ordinary sounds
I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through
I watch as lovers pass me by
Walking stories - whos and hows and whys
Musing lazily on love
Pondering you
I'll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell
{so} when it's time to walk that way,
We wanna walk it well
- Love is waiting, Brooke Fraser

For this, i can only wait. wait and see. just wait. i have to have this drummed into my head constantly.

chicken-licken.

Haven't posted since that EU one. I don't really know were all my time has gone. It's kinda disappeared. On me. It's sunday again and it's kinda scary. I had Andrew, Ling, Dexter, Terrence and Weiyong over for dinner last night and it was awesome. Because I could make use of my new kitchen. Like oven, stove, marble counter top and all. ha. I think that's the kinda kitchen countertop i want to have next time. I made so much food. It was kinda scary. But it was great too. ha. Now though I'm awfully sleepy and I need to find soemthing better to do with my time. Maybe like i don't help someone.

To have to be reminded.

Somehow i always end up dealing with these things. I fear. I fear opening my mail box these days. yet at the same time i always look forward to it, because I cannot wait for Charlie's parcel to come in the mail. But more often than not, the fear overpowers me and i just stand there and am really scared to recieve a call or a letter from the real estate agents about the outcome of the sale, about the outcome of whether I have to move or not. I mean the fear is probably irrational because after all, just move right? Just pack your things and move. But then it is truely not that simple. It's much more than just pack up and move. I think one days i'm just going to be so tired and fed-up with everything that i'll just runaway. I'll only take what i can in three suitcases and throw everything else. My books. My music and my cactus and the bamboo plant and it doesn't matter that i'll be depressed and sad because, I've been so depressed and sad anyway.

I've been trying to be positive and think positively. I've been trying to constantly remember that there is someone greater, I've been trying to be strong, but it's just so incomprehensible just when you think that things are finally looking up, things come crashing back down. It's like i'm a huge joke. I'm the butt of a huge joke - She'll be happy now and then now we shall take all the happy things away from her, then we'll laugh when she cries and just crumbles. yah i think i'm just the butt of a huge huge joke. And i don't know how i can take it much longer. I don't really know how strong i can continue to be. It may seem dependent and all, but it'll be great to have someone to hold on to. Even if just for a little while. Someone who would know how to deal with things like that. Someone who would whack me and say, "yans, hey wake up. it's ok. it's really ok and i've got everything in control for you."

truely, this is one of those times. money IS everything. money could make the prospect of having to deal with moving go away. it would make EVERYTHING go away.

"How many times have I turned away
The number is the same as the sand on the shore
But every time You've taken me back
And now I pray You do it once more.

Chorus:
Please take from me my life
When I don't have the strength
to give it away to You Jesus

How many times have I turned away
The number is the same as the stars in the sky
But every time You've taken me back
And now I pray You do it tonight."
- Take my life. third day

at the moment. i don't know anything except for writing my essay.

it's that time of the year again.

Alrighty-o. So here, I have THE examination timetable:

12 June 2007 - Constitutional Law
13 June 2007 - Lawyers, Ethics and Society
18 June 2007 - Equity
19 June 2007 - Introduction to European Union Law

rawr. yup, that looks like it is. I mean, ok it doesn't look like alot at all considering the copious numbers of subjects that other people in other courses are taking but it is still alot of work. I'm about to i don't know, possibly die. If only there was a food service and food would get delivered to my house during exam period. The doorbell would just ring and there'll be food at the door. Magically. ah ha. if only. I can only dream somemore. ha.

That said, I cannot wait for the holidays to come. Because there are sooo many people coming to visit. To have a whole month to NOT HAVE to do anything that remotely resembles anything school obligations, is utterly utterly fantastic. I may not be heading home this winter anyway, if i cannot get a flight home. So if I don't get to see anyone - i'll would catch you lot at the end of the year.

now back to this EU essay and i hope this headache goes away soon.

awesomeness.

I had the priviledge of being in the presence of, in my opinion, one of the greatest live bands in the music industry at the moment. dave matthews was awesome - the music just came together, the guitar, the drums, the violin, the saxaphone, the trumpet and even the yukaleli. It was a good end to a shit-ass day. I can't even really remember why i was so tired, but the music revitalised my soul, like how, as John Mayer sings," You should have seen the sunrise with your own eyes, it brought me back to life." It's beautiful, as to how often songs can relate so personally to you, your life and your predicaments.

And of course, Missy Higgins' new album is out. And it's beautiful and amazing and all other things brilliant. Just one song that is stuck in my head at the moment...

"Steer"
missy higgins
It was always simple, not hidden hard
You've been pulling at the strings playing puppeteer for kings
And you've had enough

But the search ends here
Where the night is totally clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer

So hold this feeling like a new born
Of freedom surging through your veins
You have opened up a new door
So bring on the wind, fire and rain

It was always simple, not hidden hard
You've been played at a game called remembering your name
And you stuffed it up

But the search ends here
Where the night is totally clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer

'Cos you've been listening for answers
But the city screams and all your dreams go unheard

But the search ends here
Where the night is totally clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer
Yeah get out of the box and step into the clear
'Cos now you finally know you can steer

This,i reckon, is my ultimate dream. To be in the position one day, where I finally am in control of where I'm going. No longer would there be what-ifs with regards to my life or future. Neither would my future be hanging in the balance, in the hands of others. I want to be able to know. And when I know, I am sure that I would be stronger and not vulnerable. I know that I wouldn't be weak and moan at every set back. To know that my life would work out as I imagine it to be, I would be contented. To know that everything would be alright at the end of it all is comforting. It's not the actual act of being in control, it is the knowledge that despite the current setbacks and obstacles in my life - for sure, i would make it in the end.

always loving.

Passing time with you in mind
It’s another quiet night
Feel the ground against my back
Count the stars against the black

Think about another day
Wishing I was far away
Wherever I dreamed I was
You were there with me

(Chorus)
Sister, I hear you laugh
My heart fills full up
Keep me please
Sister, when you cry
I feel your tears
Running down my face
Sister, sister, keep me

I hope you always know it’s true
I would never make it through
You could make the sun go dark
Just by walking away

Playing like we used to play
Like it would never go away
I feel you beating in my chest
I’d be dead without

(Chorus)

I hope you always know it’s true
I would never make it through
You could make the heavens fall
Just by walking away

(Chorus)
- sister, dave matthews band

I think this is one of the most meaningful and one of the most beautiful songs ever. It's been a long time that something has made me tear and be thankful, all at the same time. I've always wished that I could love my sisters a whole lot more. I wish that I could see them alot more, talk to them abit more. It always surprises me how much they've changed or grown in the course of a few months, which really is not too long a time. They never fail to amaze, never fail to encourage me, never fail to make me stop short in my tracks, never fail to indulge me, never fail to irritate me, never fail to drive me crazy - yet, i still them both many many. Only they, one hug and everything just goes away. like magic.

dave matthews band are awesome.